0 - Starting over (NaNoReNo 2024 Postmortem)

Hey there!

If you're here because you tried out the Auros Sprite Pack--thanks for checking out this blog! If not--welcome! I hope you find my writing useful, or at least entertaining.

Right now development has been scaled back to pre-production, a decision I've come to after the intensity of NaNoReNo 2024 has finally cleared from my mentality.

I'm not new to  month-long creative challenges; I've attempted the novel-writing equivalent to NaNoReNo a few times, but there I've only really won "once". The same ethos carries over from 'WriMo to 'ReNo, and that's "signficant progress". In novels, that's a solid 50,000 words. In video games, that's a playable demo at best, or a working prototype at worst. The reason I bring this up is to highlight a prevalent issue I've constantly encountered: the struggle to finish a project. It's taken me a while to work my way into actually making games, and the last thing I want is for old habits to negatively impact my works.

How Far I Got

I was able to finish the outline of what has now become the "Dream" section of the game. The story there, including the variant outcomes influenced by player choice, is all mapped out. Out of this outline, I got as far as concluding Chapter 1, scene 1 (variations included). The point system for tracking player choices was also implemented and tested in a prototype build. All that was needed was finishing out the script and the sprites.

I only finished one set. And it wasn't even right for what I had needed (at the time). 

This was when I realized I was doing a lot of things wrong and had to drop out of the game jam.

What I Did Wrong

My first mistake was not allowing the project to run with only pre-made assets until it was past that prototype stage.  I truly appreciate how newcomer-friendly the indie gamedev community is, but despite this I underestimated just how much use pre-mades could get me during the progress. By trying to complete a single sprite set,  I disastrously hampered the timeline of the project. I believe in my project notes I intended to just have 2 completed sprite sets for the NaNoReNo demo (Auros and the player character, Shale). But I got cocky in one aspect and underestimated how much work I needed to improve my current workflow.

One of the worst habits I've been addressing is my mindset when it comes to my art. I struggle to visualize the process, fixating more on the finished project. It was an issue in everything I did (let's plays, illustrations, character design, sewing projects, writing)--I would always get hung up mid-way because I couldn't quite get what I visualized out.  This meant one of two things.

Outcome 1: Hyper-focus (and thus, over-working)

Hyper-focusing is as much an ADHD problem and a me problem. I've made this bed and now I need to lie in it.  I see a problem, I NEED to fix it. No matter how limited my resources, I had an itch to try. It was immediate the moment I worked out the coding fundamentals for Ren'Py, too. The first project I started (which has been shelved to focus on By Your Light) has seen a lot of prototypes. done just for the sake of exploration and experimentation. Which isn't bad on its own. But it is bad when it comes at the cost of sleep and the pipeline schedule.

It's worse with my art. I've been drawing for 27 years now, but my drawing habits haven't fully graduated from  the 5 year old kid who sat at the coffee table for an afternoon trying to copy a poster of Sailor Moon. I've spent many late nights painting and re-painting illustrations in my iPad Pro while in bed, spending hours during my breaks trying to line the drawings or rendering the details "perfectly".  None of this was necessary when I was making Auros this early on in the project. Because as is wont to happen during the creative project, mistakes get noticed and minds get changed. I had to adapt quickly to rendering on top of the base expression to create the other 12 expressions (something I couldn't fully do until I re-read my existing script to extrapolate what I needed). I realized after implementation that he was drawn assuming I was using a 1st person POV. I had been writing and staging the script as though it was in 3rd person. That meant I had to remake it.

Which brings me to the next point.

Outcome 2: Starting it over again (and again and again and again...)

When I first attempted NaNoWriMo, I knocked it out of the park within the 1st week and finished at over 56,000 words out of 50,000. I managed while still attending university, but it was a far cry from a success. That word count only covered the first 3 chapters (not good), and (almost) every year since I'd attempt the exact same novel. The closest I got was probably 4-5 years ago, because I was able to get an outline done, even if the word count didn't make it. It was hard, and I was clearly in a rut. But it's the last thing I want to happen for my games.

"Oh, but Stray, isn't that what you're doing right now?"

Yes, but I'm doing something different this time, while before I'd fixate on the wrong reasons behind why my projects would get "stuck" or "not feel right", this time I'm addressing the exact problem that's put me in my current predicament.

Issue 1: Project Management

The ironic part about this issue is I was aware of how important having a pre-production phase was for a successful dev cycle. There was a week-long game jam that I couldn't complete due to timing (it took place during what I call "hell month" in my current job, where overtime persistent and the amount of work would be at its highest in the year), and during that game jam I had thought I recognized issues I assumed I could address in the next one. I thought by being aware of these issues, I could work in fixes in the 'ReNo pre-production and avoid them entirely.

I was wrong.

Solution: Setting Realistic Goals and Persistent Self-Evaluation

As I was writing this I at one point wrote I wasn't ready to share with you my NaNoWriMo profile because I was ashamed to see the list of project entries that showed no progress. You need to be able to look at your past efforts to see how you can improve. For me, it should have been to look at how I faired in the past with a similar limitation (30 day challenge), the common outcome (poor time management and unfinished works), and what strategies I had in place to address it (for assets, I should have maintained the same approach of a "rough finish" and assigned anything related to finishing assets as part of the post=production phase; for writing I should have established a consistent schedule of writing time to ensure progress remained persistent).

Additionally, you also need to be realistic. It was not realistic of me to even attempt a 1 week challenge during "hell month", nor was it realistic of me to include even a single completed sprite set for a 30 day game dev challenge when I was also going to be doing the writing, coding, and UI design of the game.

Issue 2: Scaling Expectations

I have a number of reasons for wanting to finish a project. A personal frustration of knowing I didn't have much a profile to show for,;wanting to expand my skillset and knowledge-base meant being able to provide examples of my capabilities. But just because I knew what could be accomplished, that doesn't mean I understood how to do it. It's that issue of visualization again. I'm focused on what I could have instead of how I could have it, and that can hurt you every time, even in ways you don't expect.

Solution: Pacing, Patience, and Perspective

I don't need to rush. I could be better at having a consistent schedule, but there is no need to rush to the finish line. With a better pace and a lot more patience, I can better see the problem in front of me and address it accordingly. Sometimes this means recognizing that a game jam isn't in the works yet.  With that perspective, it might mean the difference between waiting until you are ready for a game jam, or contributing to a team in a specific role.

What's Coming Next

This devlog is going to see a lot of updates in the future. Some of it is to share what I've learned with you, but most of it is to keep myself accountable. In the future I plan to share the original prototype as well as a watermarked copy of the dialogue script for it. I also plan to expand this to productivity streams for additional accountability.

As for By Your Light - we are in active pre-production. Currently the Game Design Document is being written (I skipped it last time, because I had regurgitated everything between a notebook and my Notion database). I'm assessing whether I stick with the original "demo" version as the MVP, or if the new MVP includes sections I had originally ear-marked for the "final release" version.

Thanks for sticking through this blog post to the end and I hope you find it useful. Please feel free to share your thoughts or advice in the comments!